If you are still in the relationship:
- Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
- Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
- Keep change with you at all times.
- Memorize all important numbers.
- Establish a "code word" or "sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.
- Think about what you will say to your partner if he\she becomes violent.
- Remember: You have the right to live without fear and violence.
If you have left the relationship:
- Change your phone number.
- Screen calls.
- Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
- Change locks, if the batterer has a key.
- Avoid staying alone.
- Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
- If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
- Vary your routine.
- Notify school and work contacts.
- Call a shelter for battered women.
There are 60,000 incidents of on-the-job violence each year, and most victims know their attackers intimately. (Chicago Sun Times, 9/30/96)
If you are experiencing domestic violence:
- Notify your supervisor and the human relations manager about the circumstances regarding your situation.
- Discuss options available to you, e.g., scheduling, safety precautions, employee/family assistance benefits.
- Submit a recent photo of the perpetrator to your safety manager in the event of a confrontation at work.
- Request that all information be treated with confidence to provide for your safety and well-being.
If you are the co-worker of someone experiencing domestic violence:
If you suspect a co-worker is suffering abuse, do not directly confront her/him since it is important for an individual to self-disclose for her/his own safety and well-being.
- Express concern and a willingness to listen and be supportive if needed.
- Offer support by listening and assisting; when an individual is ready, she/he will confide.
- If a co-worker confides in you, encourage communication with the human resources manager and her/his supervisor.
- If you witness an incident at work, contact your safety manager or law enforcement immediately. Make sure that the incident is documented.
If you are the supervisor or manager of an employee who is experiencing domestic violence:
- Be aware of unusual absences or behavior and take note of bruises or emotional distress.
- Contact the human resources manager to discuss concerns, resources available and ways to support the employee, e.g., safety planning, employee assistance counseling, family resource referrals, flexible scheduling, security measures.
- Be familiar with community resources and referrals.
- Maintain confidentiality at all times; be sensitive to the seriousness of the situation.
- Discuss who is appropriate to speak with the employee; agree on all forms of communication, e.g., providing the safety manager with a photo if there is a risk at work.
- Assist the employee in documenting all incidents with the batterer that occur in the workplace.
- Take action against domestic violence by encouraging employees to volunteer and by providing financial or in-kind support to your local domestic violence programs.
Personal Safety Planning Worksheet
The following steps are my plan for increasing my safety and preparing to protect myself in case of further abuse.
- Although I can't control my abuser's violence, I do have a choice about how I respond and how I get to safety.
- I will decide for myself if and when I will tell others that I have been abused, or that I am still at risk. Friends, family and co-workers can help protect me, if they know what is happening, and what they can do to help.
- To increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:
- When I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can _______________________________.
- When I talk to my abuser on the phone, I can _______________________________.
- I will make up a "code word" for my family, co-workers, or friends, so they know when to call for help for me. My code word is: ____________.
- When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is lowest risk for getting hurt such as:
or (at work): ______________________________________
or: (at home) ______________________________________
or: (in public)______________________________________
- I can tell my family, co-workers, boss, or a friend about my situation. I feel safe telling: _____________________.
- I can use an answering machine or ask my co-workers, friends or other family members to screen my calls and visitors. I have the right to not receive harassing phone calls. I can ask: ______________________________ to help screen (home) (work) my phone calls.
- I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times. I can call any of the following people for assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they see my abuser bothering me.
- When leaving work I can: ____________________________________________________
- When walking, riding or driving home, if problems occur, I can:
- I can attend a support group for women who have been abused. Support groups are held:
- Telephone Numbers I Need to Know:
Police/Sheriffs Department: ____________________________________
Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Program: ________________________
Clergy Person: ______________________________________________
Some or all of details of this page were taken from the website of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Eve's Place is a member of NCADV.